An Unusual Post for this Page

This was basically just one of those thoughts rumbling around in my head during my MRT/LRT trip to the office. I was going to put it on my blog, but seeing as how no one's written here in ages (perhaps scared off my the bugs brought about by the format change) I figured I'd put it here.

I thought I'd write a little ode to unrequited love.

Yes, I know I'm happily married with two kids, but reading Joe D'Mango's columns during my train ride really gets me thinking sometimes (yes, I'm a closet jologs, so sue me).

Unrequited love is often thought of with such wistful melancholy and described as a poignant part of life; a bit of requisite sadness for lives that would otherwise be just too boring.

But maybe it's a little bit more. Maybe it has very important lessons to teach us about the way we treat other people, especially those who are supposedly dear to us.

The one thing I can honestly say I've learned from my experiences with unrequited love is simply this: no matter how much you want to be with someone, if it's not meant to be, then it just won't happen. You can put your best foot forward and avoid all the little faux pas you can think of, but if you just arent' the one for her, then it'll just slip away someway, somehow. When it comes to love, winning the 'prize' is just not a question of sheer force of will. In short, it teaches us to accept when things just aren't meant for us, because a lot of things in life, not just love, can be like that.

For every one guy who says I'm full of shit, I'm pretty sure there are ten or twenty who know exactly what i'm talking about.

Another thing about unrequited love is that it teaches us to treasure the love we eventually find. I know I could definitely be a better husband to my wife, but I also know that all of my previous bellyflops have actually made me more acutely aware of the things I need to know to keep our relationship interesting. The sum total of my mistakes is like a textbook I carry around. After practicing so many times how to do the whole romance thing right and finally finding a willing partner, it's nice to know all the false starts amount to something.

I can't help but wonder if the world would be a better place with more unrequited love. I know this isn't the least bit scientific, but I wonder if girlfriend or wife beaters ever really knew what it was like to pine over someone who they came to realize would never love them back? I wonder if philandering guys or two-timing girls ever really knew what it was like to agonize over the thought of that one special person just beyond their reach? It's tantalizing to wonder sometimes.

I'm fairly sure that unrequited love has a lot to teach us, whether we're actually in relationships or still just hoping for one. We just have to pay attention.