reflection paper
everything tastes better with whisky now. as i turn to drink to help me forget, i realize i am always discontent and tire of things quickly. i dwell on the failures in my life and i never look on the bright side. thankfully, i am not suicidical.
unfortunately, i find most things dissatisfying.
always, i need more.
i can guess the future by thinking logically and seeing what the natural progression of things would be if things are left as they are. but even with a plan, or a forward thinking vision, i am unable to reap substantial rewards from it for lack of resources.
i have become very good at distracting myself.
i watch movies, tv, read, etc.
it isn't just that i enjoy them. it's also anything to keep me from thinking about the disappointments in my life.
but then, i have heard that an unexamined life is an unlived one
would i even be writing this if i had a war chest of millions of dollars to better effectively keep me from reflecting on things like this?
i like cataloging and keeping lists. it helps to remind me since i seem to forget a lot of things.
unfortunately, i find most things dissatisfying.
always, i need more.
i can guess the future by thinking logically and seeing what the natural progression of things would be if things are left as they are. but even with a plan, or a forward thinking vision, i am unable to reap substantial rewards from it for lack of resources.
i have become very good at distracting myself.
i watch movies, tv, read, etc.
it isn't just that i enjoy them. it's also anything to keep me from thinking about the disappointments in my life.
but then, i have heard that an unexamined life is an unlived one
would i even be writing this if i had a war chest of millions of dollars to better effectively keep me from reflecting on things like this?
i like cataloging and keeping lists. it helps to remind me since i seem to forget a lot of things.
posted by Ryan at 10:07 AM
7 Comments:
Tweaked a little bit it could read like a free-verse poem. Or a short story; if you were a character in 4x you probably would have blown your head off by the end of the story :p
yeah but killing yourself is so cliche. it's just so Dulaang Sibol (hehe)
there are way better endings
am surprised that you would regard yourself dissatisfied. you've traveled to most places in the world most of would never see, man. have you ever given thought you're more of a world traveler rather than a businessman? another question: if you did have the money, do you think you'd be REALLY satisfied with your life? I sometimes think being poor makes us hungry to do better than those who have the money.
am trying to find the time but like you, I want to do a list of those people in our batch who have made their own peculiar, particular marks in life. for example, I recently heard that Francis Alvarez was ordained as Jesuit priest already. that's something, right?
you just heard about alvarez becoming a priest now? that was.. years ago?
I think it was about being a Jesuit, not a priest. Dunno what exactly. It was my mom who informed me from Ateneo. *shrugs*
The point being is that we're doing pretty okay in a lot of fronts. Recently saw Rom Villaseran's art exhibit after so many years and it looks really great. On the other hand, John Torres gets invited to a lot of indie film festivals in Europe. Jing Gaddi is both a lawyer and a member of the popular band Ang Bandang Shirley.
More than that, we've made our own personal marks.
Love the avatar, Joey!
Don't sweat it, Ryan; personally I think you've got a lot to show for thirty-four years on this earth. I think it's all a question of perception, or relativity. I've gotten a lot done by some people's standards, but hardly anything by others. But at this age, it's good to be dissatisfied with the way things are; it keeps us motivated.
Confirmed it: I saw a notice in Ateneo wrt to Alvarez' ordination as a Jesuit priest. And it's really dated for this year.
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